This is a roleplaying journal belonging to calliope_love for the character Kevin Regnard from Pandora Hearts. Questions or comments about how I play him? Leave them here; comments are screened!

This Kevin is 24 years old, taken from within the few days between the massacre of the Sinclairs and the formation of his contract with Albus. As such, he currently has no contract, and is angry and grieving.

As of May 2012 in the DR, Kevin is aware that he ultimately winds up a servant in the Rainsworth household and becomes Xerxes Break, having lost an eye. However, he doesn't know about his future as the Red-Eyed Ghost, or his jaunt through the Abyss. He is assuming that he stayed with Emily, Emily was attacked, and he failed again to protect her. It is my expectation that having some time to think after the initial murders will have given him just a bit more self-awareness and let him cool some of his anger -- enough that he will be rather horrified when he finally does uncover the truth.

That's not to say he's going to be a weenie Kevin who swears off violence, mind. Part of his horror will be that he'll have to face up to the fact that given a choice in the matter, yes. Yes, he absolutely would murder over a hundred people if he thought it'd bring that family back.





Also I have given him a pet turtle. He has named it Turtle, and it likes to get out of its tank and make him chase it all over the mansion. This is entirely for my own amusement.

Light Affection: WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING HIM. WHY.

Sexytimez: V I R G I N oh dear gods there are breasts here what am I supposed to do this does not compute at all --

-- but in all seriousness, Kevin is not stupid or unaware of what goes where, he just hasn't ever had that in his life. He has always assumed he would go the traditional route of finding someone, marrying them, and then making babies, and it's going to be difficult to wean him off of that track. Present him with the opportunity on an average day, and he will clam up and back away. It is possible that a great deal of anger and emotional upset could send him toppling into spontaneous rough sex, but there will be a lot of regrets and awkward after, and no matter the circumstances, he would not go to bed with anyone he has not interacted with in some capacity first. Talk to me before you try anything.

In memeland, it is established that Kevin has a masochistic streak and absolutely thrives on submitting to and being hurt by someone he trusts. He has the potential for this in the DR, but will have to work through a lot of personal issues with it before he is comfortable with this aspect of himself. I will not play this out outside of memes unless there is an opportunity for a lot of very long, slow bedroom CR. Shared dreams will not cut it here, not at first.

Fighting: Not as good as a Break, but that's because Break has a good 15 years more experience than he does. Has a nasty temper and will totally whip that sword right out on you if you don't leave him alone, though he won't strike to kill unless forced.

With the Ouching and the Hurting: Talk to me first!

About the Mun: I am up at random hours so time-zone is irrelevant. Mostly, I rely on backtagging. When I am at my best I attempt to answer all of my tags once a day, but as of now -- think between January and June of 2012 -- that isn't happening due to real life constraints, so please be patient with me! I play multiple characters and am often scatterbrained enough that I must sometimes focus on only a few threads at a time, so it may be a couple of days between tags, but it is very rare that I drop threads. Likewise, even if it has been a few days since you tagged me, tag me anyway. No apologies necessary!

PHDR:
Intro
Tea with Glen Baskerbunny
One week in
An injured Failbert
Awkward Turtle
What idiot invented mistletoe?!
Mutual derpitude
Avoiding the Yule Ball
Tiny self? Avoid! Avoid!
Mansion animals are so weird
Freaking beach. Freaking not!Shellies. Freaking Lacies.
Rescuing the angry, violent noblewoman
Off to hunt down the angry, violent noblewoman
Freaking corpses in the freaking fountain
Stress relief
Kevin vs. Fairies at the Blue Rose Festival
Out on patrol with Gilbert
In which Miranda Barma precipitates a move across the mansion
Jackquake: Helping to rescue Xani
After the quake
Hunting of the Snark: Before the hunt, getting his ass handed to him, and getting yelled at for it later
Not enjoying himself at the pub; also Ada
The Bunny Incident
Glen Baskerville and the Sparkly Chicken
Gilbert and Kevin vs. the Will
In the kissing closet with Lacie, Red, and Shelly
A night at the opera: In the box with Shelly and Break, and escaping during intermission
Spending the night at Glen's
In which Kevin acquires fudge and is happy for once
Halloween: Kevin as a vampire's bride, sulking at Lacie about it, and wanting to hide from Jack over it
Aww yiss Holy Knight


Memes:
Rain meme
Pregnancy meme
Spontaneous kissing meme

Sailing on the Memeland Ship with Vanessa Nightray:
Kinda sorta badass
Grumpy baby has a cold
In which Kevin discovers that girls can snore
Hurt and comfort

Kevin vs. Devil Woman
Terrible, horrible, no good, very ba -- oh geez look at this
What happens when there is not clear communication within a poly relationship
The Hooker AU Meme
Epidemic Meme (Also includes a log with Ada Vessalius)

Dear_Mun:
Voice-testing

Glen orders him to stay, and so he stays.

They may well kill you on sight, he'd said; he'd been wrongly blamed for a series of local murders himself once, and wasn't about to trust the locals to be reasonable or logical about such things. Keep away from the windows. And, much as he wants to be out and prowling around and hurting things that hurt others and running away as best he can from the thoughts in his own head, Kevin obeys him, even if he does brood endlessly. He's learned far too much to simply sit quietly.

He hasn't felt this restless and unhappy and angry since the first few months after the massacre, really. At first, he hides away in the room he's been given in the townhouse, but it's too small to pace effectively in. So he stalks around in the halls, too, and through the sitting rooms and the music room, avoiding everyone he can, especially Glen himself. The last thing he wants right now is a friend, not when he feels like tearing new holes into just about everyone he sees. The knight is just aware enough to understand that he's angry enough to lash out when there isn't a good enough reason to, and that Glen doesn't deserve to be around him when it happens.

Eventually, while Raven is out doing goodness knows what, Kevin makes his way to the kitchen and notices that the maple syrup has been left out on the counter. He stops dead in his tracks, staring at it. It's been out at breakfast ever since he began staying the night here now and again, but it always makes its way back to the pantry where it belongs. Did someone leave that out on purpose...?

Well, what the hell. Does it matter if someone did? Almost spitefully, Kevin digs the vanilla ice cream out of the icebox and plonks himself down at the table to eat it directly out of the container, pausing to dump syrup all over it before he digs in. If these people think maple syrup will be enough to help waylay his angst, well, he'll just go ahead and eat all their damn syrup and prove them wrong. At least he's bothering to put it on something instead of just going at it straight with a spoon -- he's not that much a Break yet, even if he is self-medicating with sugar.

Kevin hasn't been around Glen's house as much over the past few weeks -- not since the vampire-and-the-dress-and-in-front-of-a-Jack-to-boot incident. If it had been anyone else involved in the whole fiasco, Kevin might have just chosen to avoid them forever, but the knight has run into a problem: He doesn't want to lose his friendship with Glen. It isn't because he doesn't really have any other friends; Kevin isn't a very social guy, and he's fine with that. He likes quiet and he likes solitude and he likes being able to do as he pleases, when he pleases. Being a loner doesn't bother him in the slightest.

No, the issue here is that he honestly values Glen and his kindness. When he was under the spell, he had thought to himself that he needed to show his appreciation for the other man in the form of loyalty and caring in turn, because life would be so much bleaker without him in it and Glen should know that it mattered. That feeling hasn't gone away.

This still leaves the hurdle of talking to Glen again, though -- for the first time since that damned dress had finally come off, and somehow moving past the awkward intimacy of what the spell had caused them to do, among other things. As he wanders toward the townhouse, fingers trailing over the rod iron fence, Kevin tries to think of things to say and fails. Is there anything to say? What if Glen himself isn't interested in patching things up? What about --

The issue is solved for him -- or at least blasted from his mind -- when Glen explodes out of his front door, jaw clenched and cloak billowing out behind him. Kevin stops dead in his tracks by the gate, a rabbit who's just noticed a wolf coming out of its den. An angry wolf. One who's just had its territory infringed upon, and is getting ready to fight for dominance.

He's never seen Glen like this. For a moment, the knight is genuinely afraid of him.

It was one of those storms where there had been no indication that it would happen earlier in the day. The clouds hadn't begun to gather until the evening, and within half an hour of the first one, the entire sky had opened up and sent so much rain it was practically a waterfall plummeting to the ground below.

Kevin was caught in it, naturally.

He'd tried to wait it out, lurking under awnings and lingering in doorways. But it's getting dark much earlier now and the rain was showing no sign of letting up, and before long, the wind was blowing enough rain into the knight's hiding spots that he was getting drenched anyway. There was no reason not to make a run for home, and that's what he's doing now, soaking wet with his cloak flapping about in the wind as he tries not to slide on the cobblestones. It's a long way and the going is treacherous, and he can't see very well in this dark. Hopefully this is all the bad luck he'll get for the night, and he'll at least be able to make it back unmolested.

He passes by Glen Baskerville's house on the way -- the one who'd offered to help him, not only with sword lessons but with a place to live. There are lights burning in the windows and for a moment he debates taking the man up on his offer for a visit. No. It would be obvious that he had only stopped by to escape the weather, and since he has other reasons he's supposed to be coming around, that would look bad on him. Still, Kevin hesitates there by the gate. The mansion is far away and this big, dry, probably warm townhouse is right there...


[Private to redstainedking.]

It's been a week, and if Kevin were a Break, he'd probably be expressing his feelings by rolling around on top of whichever table would annoy the most people at once. Fortunately, he is still a Kevin, which means he is sitting in a chair with his feet on the floor like a civilized person and doesn't really want to interact with anyone enough to annoy them anyway.

Still, he's not happy, and it's sort of obvious in the way he's radiating sulking. Seven days. Seven days of restlessly prowling the city in search of a familiar street. Seven days of avoiding that Hat-monster as hard as he possibly could, not to mention every other person in the mansion with white hair. Seven days of feeling guilty about the money that kept appearing in his room and the food he was forced to take from the kitchens.

Most of all, seven days away from Emily, and though he's overheard enough to know he hasn't actually missed the burial, he's...well, he's unsettled, displaced. It should be a comfort not to have to face it yet, but he doesn't have any more idea what to do with himself here than he did at home. At least there he'd have Emily attached to his leg.

Perhaps it's a longing for some sense of normalcy that's driven him to this bakery, but if it was, it isn't helping. The croissant and the tea on the table in front of him are untouched.